Everything I Know About College I Learned from the Media

The past week have been more difficult than the previous here at school, but they've also been really good.

I knew I would struggle with the reality of this world and of free-thinkers who aren't nearly as respectful as they say or think they are. But one can only be so prepared...and still, you will always hit culture shock one day or another. This came in a much different manner than I was expecting, which has been a wonderful learning experience.

In high school, it seemed as if most everyone claimed Christianity, and maybe it was because it wasn't discussed as much, but that is definitely not the case here. Now I knew that, I wasn't naive enough to think that the south is full of Bible-believers.

The thing is though that in high school, everyone respected everyone else's values. Now it is likely that it's just because it's a small school, number 1, and number 2, Tyner has always sort of been the exception to the rule in that we are a family in many ways. But I've been surprised by the disrespect not of my religion, but of myself in general. I know this sounds stupid and sheltered, but I was sheltered.

For some reason, I had this apparently grandiose idea that college was this place of the exchange of ideas....well, turns out it's just the boasting of one's ideas...no matter how ridiculous or loud and obnoxious they are.

Therefore, so far I've been content to sit and listen as I try to figure out what each person is about (cause that's what I do, creep and analyze like that). That is, until recently when I've began to see that I just can't take it anymore. I have to speak up because I just get so darn frustrated. And then I have that feeling like I'm doing the same thing they are doing by boasting of all their marvelous ideas and philosophies. But I know that I'm called to speak truth as well. It's nearly a catch 22...more like a thin line that I'm praying to be defined.

But I love this experience. It's been hard, but I know that God is building endurance within my spirit. It's something He showed me this summer in ATL, I've shared this before. While trekking up Stone Mountain (one of the most strenuous things I've ever done, the straight up part is killer, especially when you're out of shape) and on the way down while meditating on different things, it finally "clicked" in my heart what the verses that talk about "finishing strong" and circumstances that "build endurance" mean: it's God way of building our muscles, spiritual strength training. So that when we face another obstacle that is similar and/or more difficult, we will have experience and will have learned valuable lessons that we must now choose to apply and therefore, grow even further in faith and trust and righteousness.

And I'm so thankful for God's perfect timing. Because I learned that lesson this summer, it is still fresh in my mind and I am able to apply it easier right here at school as I begin to face some of the most difficult situations I've ever faced before. It's not too strenuous yet, but I know that God is using these college years to form the basic shape of what He wants my future to look like, He is going to shave down the major bulges and all the excess clay from the (as of now) square block, so that when the time comes for me to leave and to serve overseas I will look much more similar to Him, my Jesus. :)

Isaiah 64:8 
"But now, O LORD, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand."

Romans 9:21
"Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for dishonorable use?"

Raging War

"God I want to dream again, take me where I've never been. I want to go there, this time I'm not scared. Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable. Nothing can touch me, nothing can stop me."

Unbreakable by: Fireflight. (emphasis added)

The Perfect Fit

I have been here at MC exactly one week and a day. It already feels like home. I'm beginning to get connected to those outside of my orientation friends, which is very good for me. I'm one who needs balance and change (odd mixture I know).

Let's see, I almost don't know where to start it's been so crazy around here.

I might be getting a job at the school post office which would be a huge answer to prayer! Not to mention it would also be following in my sister's footsteps yet again. :) I've had experience sorting mail and working in an office before but it would still be a lot of learning. It's a good thing I love to learn I suppose.

I'm meeting lots of new people.

I made myself go to Intervarsity's "Hard Questions" lunch they have together every Wednesday and I knew one person but not very well. I know quite a few now, one even from Chattanooga, and I'm so thankful. After spending just about an hour with them I can tell that this is the type strong Christian community I've been craving for so long. As soon as I got there, they introduced themselves, and me, and then just treated me like I'd been there all along. I love that. Makes me feel right at home, like no formalities are needed, comfortable. I'm going hiking with them tomorrow and hopefully I'll be back early enough Monday night to make it to the Bible Study they have.

This week I also went to my first Voices of Praise meeting. VOP is MC's gospel choir. And I knew a lot of the students already involved with that because they came to Tyner last year and sang for us. And consequently, Onyeka, the president and one of my RA's, recruited me before I was 100% sure I was coming to Maryville. Being able to worship freely is also something I was nervous about not being able to find on campus. GOD IS SO GOOD!

Right now I'm praying that Jesus shows me the group of people or the area that He wants me to specifically intercede for and love on and serve. Basically I'm asking for direction as far as my ministry here. Because I know that Father didn't bring me here just to take in all the clubs and stuff. He's filling me up so that He can pour me out.

That's my heart's cry for now: Lord, fill me up and pour me out. Pour me out and fill me. Over and over and over.

Some days are still hard. Not constantly having that Christian fellowship. It can make it harder to "press in" and really recklessly abandon yourself and seek His face. But I'm trying to remind myself to take time away from people and spend time with the love of my life. I so badly want to fall more in love with Jesus throughout college. I don't want to be a part of the statistics. I need Him, and I'm going to choose Him.

Some days are hard because I am hurting for those back home who I know are hurting and am not there as I usually am to comfort them. But I asked God to teach me about interceding for others and this is another chapter in that lesson. So I'm learning. Let me know in the comments below if there's anything I can be praying for. It's also an important way for me to remain connected with those back in Chattanooga and elsewhere.

I love all of you. Thank you for all of your cards and texts and hugs before I left and while I've been here. I'm excited about this year because I know that I will grow tremendously with the Father and it's only building endurance for the race ahead of me. :)

Blessings and Peace be with you. Love you!