Rain makes everything better.

Sometimes you just need a little Rainy Day pick-me-up.

So cuddle up with a good book, some warm coffee, and let the faux rainy day take you away. :)

Just One Would Do

You know that warm fuzzy sense of contentment and overwhelming gratitude you get when you realize that you've got that one friend who truly cares and is there whenever, especially when you're hurting? Yeah?

I need new friends.

I know it sounds selfish, and maybe it is. But it feels like I'm always the one who gives. And I don't mind that, I really don't, but I don't wanna be left alone either...

Just as the leaves change at school.

(This is what my campus looks like at the beginning of fall, this is why our school colors are orange and garnet, and why we pride ourselves at our location at the foot of the smokeys.)

Today, this week, has been a week of subconscious thinking. One of those weeks where I seem to be aware that I have a lot on my mind, but for the life of me I can't figure out or begin to articulate what it is.

I know what's going in my life, it's seems to be so much though that I don't know where or how to start. Feels like too much to journal, too much to type, something that needs to be done over an entire afternoon and lots of coffee.

Therein lies another difficulty that my mind's been facing. I feel like I've lost all my friends who used to be the ones to sit and listen to me. The ones I could sit and listen to what's going on in there lives. The ones who would encourage me and share what God is doing right now wherever they are.

For some imperfect human reason, I thought I would get more of that at Maryville, my mission field. Hah. Boy was I disillusioned. It's not that I don't have that if I need it, but it's much more my responsibility, which is a good thing. I can see how maybe God wants to grow me through that. But I'm the type of person who will internally whine about it for awhile. Something I'm trying hard not to do this time.

I don't know, even now this post is not making much sense to me. But I can't erase it. If I backspace/delete all of it, then I'll never get anywhere. And I have to start somewhere. So I'll start here, by explaining why it feels so hard for me to explain everything: because there's so much to explain and it's nothing I've done so I don't know exactly what's going on.

How does one explain how God is moving in your heart, or how you can see Him moving in the hearts' of those around you? That's something I've never been very good at. I know some people who, for the most part, are blessed with words and descriptions to paint beautiful pictures. I was always blessed with a friend who just knew what I was trying to say. And I feel like I've lost that again.

I'm so thankful for change. I thrive on it. Couldn't live without it, but it's still an adjustment. That's why there's also growth.