I'm officially into the Holiday Spirit :)

One of my favorite part of the holidays is reminiscing on the past year. I cannot believe how much I have grown (I know that sounds sorta stuck-up, but it's true). I cannot stop thanking and praising my Jesus for the radical change He has brought this year. My relationship with Him has flourished and turned into anything beyond my wildest dreams. My relationship with my family is stronger than ever before. My perspective on the world has changed so much I would not have agreed with a word I said earlier. Even my academics has strengthened because of my heart renaissance.

Soundtrack for 2010:

1. Healing Begins
2. Who I Am Hates Who I've Been
3. Where the Spirit of the Lord Is
4. How He Loves
5. Everything
6. You Have Me
7. Jesus Paid it All
8. I Am Free
9. Beautiful Love

This has been a looooong year. Really. I can't believe it's only been 6 months since I've been a Junior. And what's more crazy...I can't believe it's been less than 5 months since I went to India. I don't think about it 24/7 anymore. But still, at least once a day. It's hard not to when the bells on my anklets create an entrance. But it's a good reminder of the bondage the Hindus and Muslims (and even "Christians") in India face. And the bondage that I fight. And also to remind me who I truly belong to. My King...wraps me in His glory. Lays blessings at my feet....all for the sake of His name. So...I walk where He leads, and I live for His name to be praised.

I praise the Lord daily for changing my heart so radically, and in such a short amount of time. It reaffirms His promise of great things for my life. It thrills me to the bone to know that "[Jesus] will complete the good work He has started within [my life]" I mean really....How can that NOTbe exciting?!?!

I am so glad that Jesus is so real to me. I now truly understand what we mean when we say we were "dead in our sin" and that "Jesus came to give life in abundance" because I have never felt more alive than while living life daily with my Jesus.

And I get so frustrated all the time because the words I use to describe my relationship with Jesus are the typical "church-answers"....but they became church answers cause they're true. Plus, there are no perfect words on earth to describe Jesus. Haha and for someone like me that is the most frustrating, most beautiful thing in the world. Think about it, if you can't describe my God....then there is absolutely NO WAY He can be replaced or imitated decently. He's THE one and only. Jesus, Yahweh, King, Lord, Savior, Mighty, Awesome, Father, Lover, Lion, Lamb, Redeemer, God, Holy, Righteous, Wonderful, Beautiful, Precious, Faithful, Alpha and Omega, Eternal, Victor, Comfort, Counselor, Gracious, Just, Jealous.....THAT. is My GOD. And He has made me/is making me in a beautiful holy treasure. He is sculpting me into this statue so that when people see it, it reads "Jesus" but it's not just a word....it's a picture of all that He is.

Many Missives #13

Dear Wild Thing,

I love you. I don't know why God put so many obstacles in your life via your health. My heart breaks to watch you go through countless tests, doctors, surgeries, medicines. But I do know that God has never left you. Watching you find your strength in Him has strengthened my faith. Jesus promised that He would never give us anything we couldn't handle with Him by our side. It's not easy or painless, but you have me. I love you. And I would take away your pain if I could. But we both know of someone who can. And one day...your pain will leave and never come back.....ever!

I cannot wait to hear your story. I know God has some BIG plans for you that He's already started and Jesus promised that He will COMPLETE the good works He has started in you. That means that you will do the great things He has planned for you. He's started something amazing and you'll get to see it all the way through. :) How exciting. And while He's working in you for His glory know that you have a huge family full of love and support for you.

Victory comes from you, O Lord.
May you bless your people.

Psalm 3:8

Sincerely,

Old Lady with 50 Alley Cats

The Gift of Discernment

For some reason, this week God has really opened up my eyes and hearts to the chains that bind my peers at school. I know it's so I can pray for them. But it's hard. I was standing at my locker this afternoon and I could feel without a shadow of a doubt, the oppression that hung over the girl standing next to me. And before that I was really discouraged by this one girl that keeps laughing at me (and other people in class) she just seems to lack any form of respect. But God gave me a vision of her covered in chains, almost like scrooge from A Christmas Carol. I hate it. I long for God's revelation to rain down on each and every one of their lives.

I'm reading Radical by David Platt and he mentions the reason for God performing miracles is to bring His glory and to bring others to the name of Jesus. I feel like people misinterpret my joy for being a suck up.....but that doesn't mean I'm going to stifle my joy at all for the likes of them. No siree bob.

Yo Hone, Yo Hine, a Dragon's Life is Thine

It has recently come to my attention that being a "Christian" is a lot like being a dragon. I've often prided myself on being a dragon....but after assessing the actual lives of famous dragons I'm not so sure I like the idea any more.

Dragons are essentially outcasts. They live by themselves in a cave, shunned by society. But few realize that dragons are hiding great treasures, whether it be a fair maiden or a chest full of rare gems. Dragons don't look like anyone else. And although they're extremely powerful, their power isn't always used to intimidate. It's used to protect and also to draw attention to something. Occasionally, dragons have that one human friend that will visit them from time to time and encourage them and the relationship is quite symbiotic. However, those relationships are few and far between. Most people just don't understand dragons...and it's a shame because they're really glorious creatures (that is when you disregard Puff of course).

What I mean to say, is that it's not easy being a dragon. And I can only think of one relevant friend who's my age who "gets it". My one dragon friend. I'm beyond thankful, don't get me wrong....but sometimes I just feel like burning down the entire village.

In any case, this dragon is going to be alive for a very long time. So I shall remain determined to be the best guardian of my treasure that is possible.

Hate is a strong word.

This week I've begun to realize what Jesus meant when He said things like "be in the world, but not of it" or "they will hate you because they hate me". I say what God has told me and what He's shown me....cause I think it's a cool revelation....and people get super offended. Not like they don't hate me already and think I'm stuck up and a "big-head" (their words, not mine). It's not that....I'm not a snitch. But I'm not gonna lie when asked a direct question. And just because I don't talk as much anymore...it's because I'd rather talk to to people who aren't always gossiping and such....people like Jesus. I'm sorry if you don't get it. It breaks my heart. And I'm hurt that you don't respect me anymore. But I'd rather have you hate me than accept me while I act like you. I'm not trying to be mean....that's just the way it is. Do I love you? Yes. That's why it hurts so much. I'm tired of being used and tossed away. Thus was the life of Jesus. Except He was way better at this "living " thing than I am....

I can dig okay.

1— BAND NAME Go to "wikipedia." Hit “random article”
or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
...
2 — ALBUM TITLE Go to "Random quotations"
or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3 — COVER ART Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 — Use photoshop or similar to put it all together.

Band Name: "Greek-South African Relations"

Album Title: "Because You Have Begun It"

Peeves the Poltergeist

I'm trying really hard to be loving, but it's hard. My biggest pet peeve is when people don't care, when they think it's "too hard," when they don't want to learn something new. When they don't even try. So, suffice it to say, this week (although it's only Tuesday) has been a difficult one for me.

I really want to just say "look, I know you have it rough, we all do, but you stop being such a baby!" What I want to do is tell them to shut up and just learn something! But I can't. First off, that would be rude and un-Jesus-like. Secondly, that would be judging them and I have no place to do that.

I thanked God this morning for having my professor say exactly what I wanted to. Still, it only made them complain more. I'm begging the Lord for patience and grace and love. It's weeks like this that I cannot wait for college....to be around people who are there because they want to and are learning about things they love...ah I can't wait!

What really bugs me, is when people are sooo apathetic that they intentionally dumb themselves down. Sigh....and then get judge me for being enthusiastic. I'm not a suck-up....I just really like to learn....and I want to get as much as I can out of school. I don't go to see friends (if I did I would be homeschooled) I go because I love learning and reading and trying new things out and seeing how much I can accomplish. If you don't care....leave. I know if they were given that ultimatum, they wouldn't take it. I don't see how you can talk about how badly you want to get into an ivy-league university but complain about writing a simple in-class essay or talk about skipping class all day long. It frustrates me.

No I'm not perfect....but I care. And I know you do too....which is why I'm so upset.

Many Missives #12

Dear Sister,

I. Love. You. You have practically raised me. And you couldn't have done a better job. We may be 11 years apart, but we're still best friends. I guess that just comes with sharing a room for 18 years. You are the most amazing mentor, listener, goofy, piece of my heart. I would not trade you for the world.

I may not always understand you or what you're going through. But as I get older, I begin to see how strong you have been and still are in handling all of it. And I am so proud of you for that. You have taught me a good percent of the most valuable lessons in my life. We not only share interests, and family, but we share a heart. A heart for Jesus, and for his people, and for each other.

Thank you for always being able to make me smile. For always willing to give a hug. For always listening to my stories no matter how childish or mundane they sound. For knowing when I need my big sister and when it's okay for me to be the little sister. When I need a mom stand-in and when we can be peers.

I praise the Lord for you daily. I love you over and under. Here's to you: for always inspiring me to "make it work." :)

Stay Gold,

your Ponyboy