I am Dragon, Hear me Roar!

"hey you know girls these days; youll have to kill a dragon and make a suit out of it just for them to think your cool enough to prom with them" -Nathan

Another quotation by one of my dear guy friends. This is why I love them. They talk about dragons and Harry Potter....and considering I'm a dragon, I found this quotation particularly entertaining....cause I don't think I would have gone to prom with a guy unless he was a dragon too. :)

Very Le Strange

"my future wife will be that one girl who can say "id rather be a muggle trapped in a room with bellatrix lestrange than be a cullen" and actually mean it" -Kipp

This is why this guy is one of my really good friends. :)

Auntie Em, Auntie Em

Today we actually had a tornado touch down in Chattanooga. Doesn't happen hardly ever cause we're in a valley. I swear this year has been the strangest weather for us...and it all seems to happen during school.

Today marks the second tornado "drill" we've had this year after not practicing them since elementary school. Also we've had almost a week out of school due to snow days. We even had a white Christmas this year....this is what makes me think of an apocalypse...the zombies will be arriving any day now. :P

Today Natalie Lloyd's facebook status said "Thought I might open the front door and realize I was in Oz this morning. Anybody else?" Yes Natalie, I felt the same way... or at least I was hoping so. I better tell my sister-in-law to keep a close eye on her two precious schnauzers or evil lady on the bike will get them. :\

Another storm will be arriving in about half an hour, and I'm sure that by that time our house will be full of people in need of refuge. My family's always been like that, open door policy, which can be fun or annoying.

I've already got my stash of books, slippers, and ipod downstairs waiting for me to ride out the storm. :)

I'd love to stay and chat but the flying monkeys are pounding on the roof... to all you out there: don't forget your pail of water! (I'm melting....)

Do You Remember?

The past few days I have been thinking about India a lot. Between finishing up my senior project (a documentary about my trip) and talking to my friend Jerin (see previous posts), it seems like I've thought of nothing except India. And I miss it.

I miss these precious faces SO badly, it almost hurts. Hearing them call me "Auntie" and share hugs and kisses and so much joy. I want to teach them. I'm sure they'd be excellent students. I mean, they do their homework FIRST thing when they get home. Having them sit on my lap and sound out their English homework, so proud to show it off. It was refreshing to know that I wasn't the only person in the world who finds pleasure in learning something new and sharing it with others. I miss all of them.

Jerin asked me if I would ever live there. And I'm not sure. It would be really hard for me. It's dirty and men are aggressive and it's loud, but it's beautiful and when you find believers you can lean on it's so encouraging and the culture is so vibrant and exciting.

I want to go back. I hope I get to one day. For now I have my pictures and film and journal entries, and dreams of college and studying abroad. I have no idea where God is going to take me in life, or who He's going to send me with, but I know it's going to be some grand adventure. And He'll give me so many unique opportunities; I can feel it in my bones.

I wanna hear about one of your most life changing experiences. That piece of your journey where you look back and smile and cry and scream all at the same time and then say, "it was sooo worth it".

Seasons Change

Praise God we have different seasons. Even in India they have monsoon and dry seasons. Have you wondered what life would be like if things never changed?

This Easter Mom has said quite a few times, "It's just going to be different this year." We also said that as we think about Christmas and the next few years.

Because my older brother who is married and lives down the street just got a new job and so his schedule and when we see him is going to change. Micah, Bethany, and I are all looking to move out at the same time, unintentionally of course.

I am so proud of my Mom. She admits she's sad and that she's going to really miss us. But she also knows that this the purpose of God calling her to motherhood. To raise strong followers of Christ so that they can "go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you." (Matthew 28:19-20 ESV)

To me, the most beautiful mission work is when parents share the love and truth of Jesus with their kids. I am so blessed to have parents who aren't perfect but seek God as much as they can and encourage all four of their children (who aren't children anymore) to do the same.

I thank God for my Mom and Dad and know that no matter how much my life changes, I will always have the roots that they gave me to stand firm in the Lord and His word.

Love you Mom and Dad.

It Mud...That's Not Really Mud...

Last night I had the great pleasure of partying it up. No not at my friend's 18th bash (which was last night as well) but at Ben's house. He turned 14 last week. Yes, that's right. I spent my Friday night running around, dancing, laughing, and making a fool of myself with about 7 middle schoolers. And it was the funnest party I've been to since...since I can't remember when. Seriously.

I think it's all the craziness of life lately and realizing that I'm going to actually have to start being a responsible adult soon, but I had the time of my life acting insane and not being a afraid to be immature. I wholeheartedly believe in never fully growing up. I don't think it's healthy to be an adult all the time.

My seventh graders...I don't know why they accept me, but they do. And I love them for it. It's neat to see them have grown so much. There are times they are yelling at cars that drive by and standing in the middle of the street at 11pm (much like I did with my friends in middle school) and then there are times when we have such passionate heartfelt conversations about missions and what God is doing in their lives. It's relationships like these that remind me why I am so adamant about teaching.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

I decided to list a few of the things that I'm going to miss the most when I head for Maryville.

And maybe I'll expand on some. ;)

• Family: Friday nights with mom, inside jokes with sister, movies with Micah, Nick always telling me how he feels like I should still be 8 dancing around in my tutu, and dad and our intellectual convos
• Church: As much as I love Silverdale and love seeing how God is transforming it and the people in it, I'm looking forward to finding somewhere to really call my home-church
• Tyner: I've been a ram since I was in 1st grade and mom had to work the concession stand at football games.That place is dearer to my heart than my actual house. And the staff and kids in it are my second family. Hoping I can come back to student-teach there. T-Phi!
• My bookshelf
• My Shallowford Starbucks and the rest of Chattanooga (where everything is familiar and I don't have to feel stupid cause I don't know where I'm going)
• My seventh graders and the rest of my friends who don't judge me for being a dragon or for correcting you when you quote disney movies wrong or for doing the robot in the middle of the mall.
• My teachers....who have listened to me laugh, cry, answer questions, and give countless contradictory opinions...and they still talk about me (you learn stuff like that when you work in the office)
• Being able to use my sister's car when I want to jump up and hang out with the soccer team
• Having Connections
• My Pink winged back chair (from Grandma) and my industrial style carpet :)

Of course, in the Fall I'm sure you guys will be seeing a brand new list of things I've come to love about living in Maryville, TN.

Alma Mater Hail

I only have one official week of classes left. I think the part I'm most excited about is the fact that I never have to wear polos and khakis to school again unless I choose to. :P

I can't believe it's been 4 years already. Some of them have been longer than others though.

I'm gonna miss my Rams. I can't imagine ever having gone to a different school. Tyner is my family. Such a small school with such a passionate staff really draws the senior class together every year.

I know I probably won't see most of them hardly ever...if at all after graduation. But I'm glad that a lot of my friends are going to UTK so at least I can feel comfortable knowing that I can go see them on the weekend if I really want to.

The diplomas arrived at the school today (you learn these things when you work in the office and your family name is something of a legend). It made me nervous. And sometime next week probably I'll be sorting caps and gowns. That's a scary thought.

I have to write a speech for graduation...and me and my friend Josh have to come up with a theme to share. Suggestions would be much appreciated. I was thinking something about seasons maybe, or "we came close," or I don't know. But I'd LOVE your guys' imput.

Ode to Hareton

I miss that dragon. Oh Hareton, why can't you live in my house instead of in a museum? Sometimes I think about how amazing it would be to just sit next to you, or on your back and read a book...maybe we could read tales of Hiccup and Toothless together. Wouldn't that be fun?

Sigh...I guess a girl can dream.

Fighting Dragons in a Kilt

In case I have not already told you (for fear of being institutionalized) I have to start off my saying that I have this very strange affinity for dragons. Not dinosaurs. Just dragons. I LOVE them. Sometimes, when I feel like being a little kid, I pretend I'm a dragon. Especially if it's cold outside...I pretend the hot breath you see is the smoke after I breathe fire.

Hi, my name is Allie, and I'm a dragon-aholoic.

Hi, Allie.

Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery right? Haha, guess again. This weekend, as a very late celebration of my birthday, I went with my mom, sister, and a dear friend and her mom to the Fernbank Museum of Natural History in Atlanta for their Mythical Creatures Exhibit: Dragons, Unicorns, and Mermaids. Yes, you are allowed to be jealous.

This was my face throughout the whole exhibit pretty much.

We had so much fun. It was a long day But well worth it. I got to spend some time with my friend Hannah. She's my "I-don't-care-what-we-do-together-as-long-as-we-laugh" friend who also loves to talk about Jesus. So she's freakin awesome. :)

And I got to hang out with my sister a lot which was good too, considering I'll be going away to college in the fall and will miss our special sister times.

I love how my sister is the only carnivore in the picture, yet she has the sweet face. That's so like her. :)

There was this exhibit that was all about hands on science stuff. Which totally brought me back to my science troupe days.

Science troupe was a class where we made science lesson plans and worked with the Children's museum here in Chattanooga and taught hands-on science lessons to third-graders. There was this girl trying to play with bubbles and since I'd done a lesson on that I helped her out. Reminded me why I want to be a teacher. :) I love kids...most of the time. haha

Yeah, my hands were really sticky after this, but they were super soft too.

And THAT was all on Saturday. I came home that night and swiftly wrote a five page paper.

Immediately after church on Sunday, I hit the rode for a Prospective Students' Weekend sorta thing at Maryville College. Ironically, it's my sister's alma mater. :) And yes, I'm definitely attending in the fall.

It was fabulous. And quite interesting. I began to realize just how sheltered I've grown up. I mean, I knew I was sheltered, but woah. However, I'm at peace about going there. I loved every minute of being on campus. And I seemed to click really well with a lot of the students that already live there.

I sat in on a psych class and was in my element. The professor was great and I was furiously taking notes and being the dorky girl who's doing work even when she doesn't have to. But it's all good.

Maryville College, home of the Fighting Scots. And next fall it'll be my home for the next four years. It's kind of crazy. I can't believe I'm 18 and getting ready to ship off to school. But I'm so excited. So ready for change. I'm the type of person who loves change, which is insane (told you I need to be institutionalized).

So, in August, my blog will probably change a lot in order to reflect the shift in my life.

Growing up isn't always fun, but that doesn't mean you should ever let go of your dragon. No sirree bob, you just have to get up in the saddle, hold onto its wings and hoop and holler the way you do on a roller coaster. And if the smoke gets in your eyes, just cry a little, wash it out, and start again. :)

That's my cheesy life lesson for this weekend. (I think this is the most self-revealing post I've written so it fits :)

Screw the Lightbulb, Pet the Dog

Tonight I went to the soccer game at Hixson (we lost 7-1 but we were pumped cause we shut them out 2nd half). Then afterwards I hung out with some of them: Anthony, Chelsie, Karol, and my lil brother Jerin. :)

He's a junior and one of, if not the, best friend at school. We get each others' humor...random and ridiculous. And the one thing that we really bonded over was...India. He practically grew up there, and is still in love with his culture and country. The other Indians at school are much more assimilated, not that they're wrong or anything, but Jerin appreciates my love for India more than they do.

Anyway, tonight after we left the game we started talking about Christianity...and I think Jerin brought it up. He's the one friend I feel like I can talk to about my relationship with Jesus and he will understand. So I was so proud of the way he just randomly started a conversation about Revelations and how receptive our other friends were (who are less than likely not saved). It really encouraged me.

Jerin was talking about how he feels his walk with the Lord is straying and how he really doesn't want that. My heart leapt...I've been dealing with the same thing, so I shared a little about what I think God is trying to teach and remind me through it all. And then I got home and he sent me this song on Facebook (that's another thing in common, he's the only kid in school that listens to the same sort of music I do)

He said, "Hey I was just listening to this song on the radio....it like sooooo took the words out of my mouth when I got home..." Wow, how courageous to admit! I've often cried out to God with this song, but I don't think I've ever been brave enough to share it with someone else. But how else are we to lift each other up unless we share?

And now this song will always be tied to Jerin and the reminder that there's always someone out there (usually where I least expect it) who understands what I'm going through. I'm gonna miss him so much next year, but I am so praising God for bringing him into my life the way He has. God never ceases to amaze me with the little things in life.

I am blessed beyond belief by my entire high school experience and although I tested and tried God, He is so completely faithful and gracious. I could weep for joy at the love of my Jesus! He doesn't just love me, He delights in me! (Psalm 18:19; Psalm 149:4; Zephaniah 3:17)

Holy Africa

Tonight was my favorite kind of weather: warm and windy and cloudy, with a little sun peeking through. So of course I had to do some of my favorite things.

I started out with a work-nic. It's a picnic with homework instead of food. We're finishing up romanticism and are working on Lord Byron's piece Manfred. Not the most exciting but it's reading nonetheless.

It took me like half an hour to read 3 pages. (Note I was "actively" reading and marking the text and getting distracted by birds and wind and music and bugs :) So I eventually came up with the brilliant idea, if I do say so myself, to open both sliding doors on our minivan and take a nap with the cross breeze of the wind blowing through.

And it was marvelous! Oh how I love the wind. It's my absolute favorite, it's one of the only two things I love about the beach...wind and sand. So I laid outside for about 45 minutes and rested and was able to still my heart. It was wonderful.

Unfortunately I still have homework after my little "power-nap". But I want to leave you with this video. It's my favorite rainy day songs. It's called Holy Africa by Concerning Lions:

More Than Life

"When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you.

Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever...

...But as for me it is good to be near God. I have made the sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of your deeds."

-Psalm 73:21-28

I'm letting go (again) and resting in Jesus' arms. Just giving in and saying "Okay, Father. I want all of you. Just get move my flesh out of the way, it's all dead and junk anyway. I just want to glorify you. Beautiful Jesus, even your name gives me chills. You delight in me, that means I can make you smile without even trying. Which is wonderful by the way, you say so in Zephaniah 3:17"

Rich or poor, God I want you more than anything that glitters in this world. Be my all-consuming fire. It's true God. Here I am, running into your open arms. Now, never let me go!

What's a Life Without Words?

Books are my favorite. Maybe that's because I'm an introvert, but who knows. There are times when I sit there and quote books because the situation allows for it, but no one else has any idea what I'm talking about. :)

Some of my favorite/most memorable books happen to be:

• The Outsiders
• The Harry Potter Series
• How to Train Your Dragon (that's a whole other story)
• Little Women
• Wuthering Heights
• The Chroni-wha-cles of Narnia (bahaha)
• The Circle Trilogy (by Ted Dekker)
• The Bible (believe it or not, it's one of my favorites, just because every time you read it it's like so... Pop)

And countless others that make me smile and recall fond memories every time they are mentioned.

Quotations are my second favorite. I think I got it from my sister, the writer. I keep journals full of absolutely nothing but quotations from books, songs, things people say, movies, facebook statuses, etc. And from each book I read I find at least 1 quotation....Sometimes I've been know to find upwards of 100.

Some of my most dear quotations include:

• "Why would I be afraid of what can't hurt me?" Black by Ted Dekker
• "If you wanna see something funny, it's a tough hood sticking his tongue out at his big brother..." The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
• "I wanna change, but I can't, and I just know I won't fit in anywhere." Little Women
• "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that." Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling
• "But treachery and violence are spears pointed at both ends, they wound those who resort to them worse than their enemies." Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

What're your favorite books, quotes, songs, movies, all of the above. And why, is it sentimental, or is it just powerful?

Even Your Scars Are Lovely

Tonight I was taking my dear sister Sha'kera home (that relationship is for another post). And on my way home I was singing the song "Scars" by Chris Sligh, which is totally amazing and anyone who has been hurt by anything in any way should hear it.

So I'm singing the song and one line I never heard before says: "Even your scars are lovely."

And as an immediate reaction I said, "haha God my scars aren't lovely to you. They make you cringe and ache that there was a time that I hated you." And as soon as I said it I knew I was wrong.

So that's what I'm pondering tonight, as I should be doing my homework. What are my scars, or are they still wounds, and asking God to show me how He sees them and what He thinks.

So far He's said that they are lovely because I would not love Him as much if I did not have them. They are lovely because I would not be able to show others how much I love Him if I didn't have them.

So tonight I'm thanking God for healing my wounds and turning them into scars. Sometimes they are embarrassing and I want to cover them up but God gave them to me so they can be seen. It's still hard to talk about, I even feel guilty for thinking about it a lot, but God knows that and He's walking me through it.

I Think I Wanna Marry You

Reading: Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

Listening to: Air1 Radio (specifically "Something in Your Eyes" by Shonlock)

I wanna run. I'm a terrible runner: bad knees + not in shape + small lungs = notsogoodrunner. However, recently I've been dying to run a half-marathon. One of my brother's is training for one, and I want to but I'm way too busy right now.

But since I live for metaphors and symbolism I've been comparing life to a marathon. Mama Jean always says "It's not a sprint, it's a marathon." And boy does it feel like it. And honestly, my legs get tired quickly, my calves burn and my lungs ache and I've got a stitch in my side.

However, it's always easier to run when you have a partner to keep pace with, a co-pilot. Unfortunately for me, recently I've fallen behind my partner. I stopped to "take a break" and He kept running. So I'm trying to slowly pick up my pace again, so I won't burn out...cause it's all about your pace. And I know that He's running in place, waiting on me to catch up. And He'll grab my hand and keep my slow pace with me. Oh Jesus, you always give me the best visions of our relationship.

Is it strange that I can tell when I'm ignoring Jesus because I stop blogging and journaling as much? I didn't think so.

Joy. You know that feeling where the day is boring and even crappy even but you're just so darn excited about life anyway?! Well, that's about how my day went. I got nothing done, but I'm just happy, joyful, loving life. Praise the Lord.

Whoever said senior year wasn't stressful lied, but whoever said it couldn't fun in the midst of stress was an even greater liar. I'm a firm believer in the idea that the abundance of your life is completely up to you: it's all a choice. You can either choose to be sullen and moody and regret life or you can live it up and celebrate and praise God for the constant blessings that He throws your way.

Now obviously, I realize there are days when you need to cry or scream, but there's always hope. I also realize that some people don't have hope, and it's not their fault. But as for me, I'm going to bless God, because I can.

P.s. I wanna go....here: A.SA.P.

The Moors of England (it's windy and moody and wonderfulness)

Talking to a Brick Wall

“Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.”

Read this yesterday and couldn’t help but think about Japan and the weather we have here today.

So how are we responding to everything that’s been going on in relation to God’s work? Where is our attention being drawn, to the devastation and power, or to God’s whispers and gentle callings that come after all the chaos?

I’m not trying to say God isn’t apparent in nature or storms, but rather than being frightened or concerned about all the noise, I think God’s trying to get my attention with a whisper right now.

Two Worlds Collide

This is my Sign of Commitment/Movie Poster for my senior project: a documentary of my trip to India last summer. It's still in editing but I'm super excited about it. It will probably be posted once it's done, or at least part of it will. It's not gonna be award-winning or anything, but for someone who's only previously watched her brother make films, it's pretty good. :)

P.S. The title is not right. :P We'll get that fixed.

Spoiler Alert!!!

I found out tonight, with a semi-formal test and talking it over with some amazing people, that my leading spiritual gifts are leadership and teaching. Haha, shocker right? I’m so excited to see how God is already molding me for a life ministry using these gifts and how He’s aligned my passion with them and opened so many doors for me to put into practice what my heart longs for. Like working with my seventh graders I get to teach and lead and love and serve all at the same time. At school I get put into leadership roles all the time and my peers aren’t afraid to come to me for help with school, and being put into a classroom in science troupe and being able to teach 3rd graders while simultaneously leading a group in the teaching process. I am so extremely blessed, and I cannot wait to see what God is going to use me and my gifts to accomplish.

So I’d love to know: What are some of your gifts? What do you think they are? How are you able to use those right now?