"Growing up isn't always fun, but that doesn't mean you should ever let go of your dragon. No sirree bob, you just have to get up in the saddle, hold onto its wings and hoop and holler the way you do on a roller coaster. And if the smoke gets in your eyes, just cry a little, wash it out, and start again. :)"
-Fighting Dragons in a Kilt Post from 04/18/11
Just re-read this in one of my posts from last April. It was a good reminder.
I don't think I realized how much God was preparing my heart for the things I'd face here at college. But do we ever?
I feel like I'm missing out on some major preparations right now. And that's mostly my fault, for letting excuses and life get in the way of my time with Jesus.
Recently I haven't felt as sure as I did before school and at the beginning of the semester. I don't feel like I've grown any and that breaks my heart, because it means that I'm probably going backwards. I know it doesn't have to be this way, I have a say in which direction I move, and that gives me hope and motivation.
I'm such a different person than when I arrived in the fall, yet, there's so much that I look at and cringe because I remember it from my past and I don't like it.
Praise God for grace. Thank Jesus for new mercies. All glory to the Lord most high for redemption and clothes of righteousness. This is my identity. This is where I now choose to stand. Resting in the salvation and love poured out by my heavenly Father.
"Not by might, or by power, but by my Spirit says the Lord." -Zechariah 4:6
Jesus, I surrender my life. I don't want this self-righteousness, these works. I just want to love you. I want more of you God, more of your heart, your vision, your passion, your love, you power, your words, your hands and feet. Yes, Lord, yes to whatever your will may be, yes I will listen to/for you, yes I will obey swiftly and with a glad heart, yes you have my heart completely.
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