Taking it slow this summer.

As I believe I've said before, I was ready for summer this year. I spent weeks dreaming of living at my friend's house and goofing off with our "gang" just like Spring Break. However, my plans took a drastic turn even before summer started.

The last day of school was great and that night my girls small group had a party to kinda kick off summer. Well, we were playing the wii (Just dance) and apparently I am no MC Hammer....I pulled (or tore, we're not sure yet) a ligament in my knee. I am now laid up in bed for the next couple of weeks.

I'm trying to take advantage of this rest that I so desperately needed. But as a hyper teenager this is easier said than done. Not to mention the fact that I absolutely dread being stuck here alone with my vivid imagination. I know God is trying to instill the whole "Be still and know that I am God" lesson, but I still can't seem to be still.

And I'm starting to scare myself with my thoughts. I know I'm over thinking it but I'm starting to see patterns in my friends entering then being phased out of my life. And what hurts the most is that is looks like I replace them very easily. I hate this.

The first one I noticed can be classified as "relationships". There was my stalker who I was friends with for about a year and a half and he swore we were in a relationship. Then there was the "desert dweller" who practically stole my heart and hardened my soul to my Lord (to no fault but my own) and this summer will be a year and a half....if it lasts that long. And now....it's the "best friend". Known him for a year (almost two years), became friends this time last year, and recently started seriously talking. And I don't wanna end up hurting someone else, especially him.

Then there's the BFF category.... My dear friend from elementary school who I stood beside for 6-7 years. then there's my heart who is still a major part of my life but I see we're slowing moving in different directions and it pains me. And I'm am so blessed to have welcomed my bestie from school into my life and I dearly hope we stay connected for a long time. What's scary is that all three of them have/had major health problems, and two were in the hospital. I was there. I don't want to this happen to my new precious friend. And I hate to see this special bond from struggles just slip away. I know it's up to me to keep the relationship going but it's hard.

This summer I'm going to TRY and take things slowly. Mull them over with my Lord before I jump into things. If I can keep my focus on the eternal I think it'll certainly help. But we'll see how my self-discipline (or lack thereof) is doing.