That's Not Normal

A lot of times, I don't fit in. And I'm okay with that. In fact, it's pretty much all that I've eve known. I grew up as the dreamer of the family, always dancing around in my own little world. At school I was the minority, the token white kid/brainiac from 6th-12th grades. Even at church I was somehow always so different from the home-schoolers and private school kids and even the other public school kids (maybe I wasn't southern enough yet :)

Now, I'm even more different from them...it's something deep inside of me. This longing to be apart of something more, something bigger. This inherent knowledge that I'm meant for more, that I come from something greater. I'm not from around here. And I can finally put words to it: I am in this world, but I am not of it. It's hard for me to connect with this world because I think differently, I have a new life that is different.

I've always prided myself on being different. I never wanted to be like everyone else. Sure I wanted to be popular or rich or famous at times but still...I always liked my quirks.

As I grow up and begin to understand what all my quirks entail and what it truly means to be different (and the baggage that can easily be picked up with it) the more I long to embrace it.

The more I fall in love with Jesus and see how different He is. The more I long to be different with Him, like Him. And the more it is that I notice my difference.

But being different can get lonely. Nerd moment: It's like that scene in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix when Harry is talking to Luna and she says something like. "If I were you-know-who I would want you to feel all alone, because if it's just you then you're not as much of a threat."

But I'm not alone. I have friends who feel the same way a lot of the time. And although I may not see them as often as I would like, that's because we're all out doing our jobs in this world...and it is beautiful work to behold. One of these friends once told me, "We can't make a difference unless we're different." And I have never forgotten that.

So yes, I want to be different. I will always be different. But I will never be alone. And the cool part is that us "foreigners" can always spot out others like us...and we're attracted to them, we gravitate towards those relationships because we crave to be around those similarities within us. That way we're never alone.

My hope and prayer is that through being different, I make a difference.