Anyway, I'm still learning from Him. I'm not going to give up just because I've gone nearly a month without spending the day with my Jesus. Nope, He's reminding me to Start Now (remember that post?) And He's still molding my heart into a heart full of passion for prayer and intercession.
And I'm feeling pretty ambivalent about school. Nervous and vaguely excited. Overall just trying not to think about it so that I don't stress/freak out...which is not healthy either. I don't know. I'm excited for IVCF (Intervarsity Christian Fellowship) and for the friends that I will make there, knowing that we will have stuff in common. I so badly can't wait for those God-fearing/loving relationships.
And I'm semi-excited about my classes, also nervous. It's going to be a lot of work and it's not like I can't do it. But it still makes me nervous. I guess because I've never had to try hard at all...like ever. I'm mainly afraid that I won't have the discipline that college requires as far as studying goes.
I'm really not thinking about my roommate. I just don't know what to expect and I'd rather not let my imagination get the best of me...again.
And I've been to busy to think about college anyway. I'm still working and packing and cleaning and being over all exhausted.
That's a major fear-factor too right now: I'm just always exhausted. And it's not like I don't try to get sleep or anything. I really don't want to enter college as a zombie and I don't want to become one once I get there either.
I realize that many if not all of these fears would subside quickly if only I gave them up to Jesus and talked to Him about it more. I am excited about college...I promise. But it's also daunting. Right now, I'm learning how to live with Open Hands.
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