Ha, that's a bold statement. And I wish that I could proclaim it confidently right now. But I am afraid. Of what, I have no idea, and I know that I shouldn't be. But God's pretty intimidating.
I find myself feeling like a child hiding under a blanket. I peek over the edge and I see God's glory and my heart sings for joy. It's so brilliant that I quickly duck back behind the covers until I just can't stand it anymore and whether out of sheer curiosity or deep understand of what's before me, I peek over again. And this repeats itself over and over until either God pulls away the blanket and calls me to his side or I fall asleep under the blanket. I long for the first part.
Part of my heart screams and begs and cries for more of the spirit and just to remain in God's presence: "I long to look in the face of the one that I love, long to stay in your presence it's where I belong."
Yet another part of me holds back for some reason. What if I'm just caught up in the experience, what if it's not what I expect, what if I end up doing it wrong?
But these are thoughts that I must take captive and throw out the window. I'd rather try and get it wrong than not try at all. And by I'm earnestly praying for God to reveal Himself and seeking the spirit through prayer and the Bible I highly doubt I'm doing something wrong right there. And I know it's going to be nothing like I expect...God is so much greater than our expectations. And living everyday hand in hand with Jesus Christ is a major experience. No, it won't be perfect, but oh it is so glorious and marvelous and more than I could ever ask for.
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