Tears come to my eyes every time I think of you. I also hate myself every time I think of you. You spent years of your life loving on me and caring for me and I don't even remember 2/3 of it. You cooked for me, tucked me in, woke me up, made me blankets, played games, danced with me, listened to me sing my lungs out, and you laughed with me. What I do remember, is you showed me Jesus. Even years before I would faintly begin to understand, you planted the seed. You told me stories, and taught me to pray, and you showed me how to worship (Jesus loves me this I know in sign language). My heart can't begin to express the love I have for you and in you, my God-Mother. I never fully understood that title until recently. And you, my dear "auntie" (as they say in India) are the epitome.
The world will look at you and say you are sick. But I have never met, and doubt I will ever meet, anyone more alive than you. Even through letters and Facebook posts I can see the light and joy of Jesus. He covers you. And everyone notices. You radiate....even over satellite connections. You are one of the most amazing examples of faith. You're words are always an encouragement.
You didn't just nurture my heart. You're love for Jesus helped nurture my family. You're my mom's best friend. Her heart sister. A true example of what Godly friendships should look like for me. You have always been there for each other. We couldn't have made it without you.
I get sick to my stomach thinking of all the letters you sent that I put aside saying I would "respond tomorrow" when tomorrow never came. All those verses you wrote down that I never bothered to look up. And then I smile remembering our time and letters from more recently. Taking silly pictures in Gatlinburg, singing in the car to retro DC Talk, heart talks on the bed, watching Caroline dance around like I used to, writing page after page of letters just to say "hi".
These are the memories that I will always cherish. I love you. But I miss you even more. I long to give you a real "big hug" instead of just typing it, to hold your hand, and look you in the eyes. But for now, the closest thing I have to pouring out my heart, is a letter. :)
Sincerely,
Your dearest "A"
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