On that note...

I know I've missed two letters so far, but I can't find the energy to write them. I barely have enough energy to drag the covers over my head each night anymore. This has been an exceptionally hard week....and it's only Tuesday.

This morning I went to physical therapy and found out that the alignment of my hip is way more off than I was first told. And so she kinda fixed it this morning and my knees didn't hurt all morning. Until 3rd block....I was sitting in a chair and made maybe a 45 degree angle from the waist to look at something and POP! my hip popped and hurt for a bit.....from then on my knees started killing me....plus my calves from when she stretched them. It's just SOOOOOO friggin frustrating!!!! I just want to not be in pain anymore, I just want to be able to skip and sit cross-legged, and play soccer. I do not want one leg to appear shorter than the other. Or to wear tape or a brace on my knee 24/7.

Not to mention I can't do anything right in school. Apparently all I'm good for is a brain. I can't really handle anything else. I'm behind on my research paper, my vocabulary, my calculus, my senior project, applying for colleges, applying for scholarships, ironing, and cleaning my room (just to name a few).

I'm lonely, I'm tired and I miss India. I miss my mom but every time I try to talk to her I just end up getting something that comes off sounding like "well there's nothing we can do so you're just gonna have to stop doing 'this' or get over 'that'".

And what's more frustrating is that I could have sworn God was there 2 seconds ago. I mean, I know he's still there but I feel like he's just sitting next to me pointing and laughing or too concerned about everyone else. And I certainly can't talk to Sarah...I'm tired of hearing things that need to be "fixed". I don't want to focus on working with God to "fix" things....I just want to feel better.

I miss India so much. I just wanna be there right now at Sandra's Home teaching or something.